there’s something incredibly humbling in returning to writing after a gap of over two years. two solid, foundational years of my adulthood that had been completely disassociated with an aspect of my life, with an identity that existed before that. don’t get me wrong- I haven’t have not written at all. I’ve written a lot of assignments, a lot of questions have been answered, I have written grocery lists and books lists, I have written recipes, but I have never written like I used to write. nor had I been completely dissociated from my identity as a writer. there has been at times a nostalgia for the past, for my talent (if I may dare say so!), there were some half-hearted attempts, some desperate attempts, some experimental attempts, all of which to add another layer, another dimension to myself. it was probably me clawing to my older self, and I was quickly outgrowing it. hence the two years.
a lot has changed since then. I am in my final year of my degree. I am about ten courses smarter and about four semesters bored. I try to but don’t really read anymore. I have stopped biting my nails, I am more confident, I drink green tea in the winter and snack on chana. I have a voter’s ID card. I have stopped using capitalization, except for in the I-s. it is more aesthetically pleasing. a lot has also remained the same. I still wear kurtas almost exclusively. I still eat out once a week maybe. I still have the same roommate, the same friends, the same family I did two years back. also the same Instagram account.
which is actually how I started writing this. over the years, I lost contact with most of the wonderful people who I had interacted with over WordPress, with contact getting limited to Instagram stories and maybe a couple of memes. then, I got a surprising notification about three days ago. it was Sucheta @scribblingowlet, telling everyone that she was embarking on the NaNoWriMo challenge, and she could use some company from her old WordPress circle, in doing it. and three days later, on 12:14 on a Monday night, I am writing this on a MS Word file. not WordPress, because I am worried I might not even complete it. like I said, writing after two years is an incredibly humbling experience.
now that I’ve caught up two years in two sentences, I bid adieu. this was the only high priority task on my schedule today. this is it for today. have Nabakov to get back to, and also a sociology reading that I hope to get done before 2 pm tomorrow. hopefully, I’ll be writing tomorrow as well. taking it slow, one step at a time. it may be the novel writing month but for me, it is going to be the get-back-to-writing-and-then-write-a-novel kind of month.