Epiphany In The Cacophony.

Adolescence is usually the age where people are neither children nor adults. It is that unfortunate age when you are either too old or too young. It is when you are maturing against your own will. You’re unwilling to let go of your innocence, yet look forward to adulthood with secret enthusiasm. It is also the age of decisions that affect our future, put our careers at stakes. We’ve got to think of the long run but have fun now also. It’s a confusion filled life, where there are losses at every turn, yet we need to look past them at what lies ahead of us. We make decisions, we make mistakes, we have regrets, and we learn from them.

Well, for me my biggest regret  would be opting for Science. This is one mistake that I’ll have to forever live with. It’s on my resume, the header being ‘The World’s Biggest Mistake’. This year has been hell, as you might know with the few hints that I drop of flunking every now and then.

You might have known from the About Me page that I want to become an architect or do something in English. That is a subject that I love, enjoy and want to make my life. Finally coming to the topic, despite being at the tender age of sixteen, I had an epiphany yesterday.

I realized (and I deeply credit Adi and Amelia for this) what I want to do. I don’t want to comply to the set, defined professions of the world. I want to do what I love, what I am good at, what I feel brings me joy more than my birthday. I want to read and I want to write.

I was surfing through Amelia’s blog yesterday where she was ranting (?) about the amount of work load she has for her final semester, and let me remind you that it was the eve of my chemistry exam and I couldn’t concentrate, when I wondered how amazing it would be to read books and give papers based on them rather that do rubbish that probably won’t help me anyway. I thought of all the books I can read and all the extra papers I can turn in, crediting my love of books, when now, I am barely passing.

Books have amazed me since a young age. They’ve always been my escape, my companions and partially responsible for the crazy love that I now seem to have for English as a subject. They’ve been the most loyal, honest, and understanding friends that I’ve ever had. For more, see Books.

They say, you’re the luckiest person if your best friend is your lover, because he understands you at a level that others fail at. I reckon I’ll be pretty damn lucky if I can marry my best friends, my books?

I love writing and reading. I’ve fervent passion for both. It is a trigger to my imagination. It forces my to push myself beyond normal, and explore the world real, wild, world as it lays ahead of me. The idea of having books to read and doing what I love makes my heart beat faster. Nothing is better when you are curled up n your blanket and you’re in some fantasy world with really, really great people. My heart literally burst with joy when I came to terms with this new revelation, and now I’d like to think that there is no stopping me from what I want to do.

I got an  epiphany in the cacophony, and now, I’m not going to let my brain rule over my heart. I know what I want, and I’m going to get it. I’m going to marry my books.