Oh God! It is the yearly exams again. I wonder if i will ever get enough of them. I mean every year, at around Holi, all I get is, “Will you EVER study?” That’s after you have studied like 5 hours a day!
Sometimes I feel that, after all, exams are not the end of the world. You have a life beyond that. O.K I realize that they determine our futures, but it may be possible that through examinations, parents are trying to fulfill their unfulfilled dreams? It may also be possible that they don’t understand the pressure kids feel during this time?
No, no! Don’t get me wrong! Its not that I am blaming parents for the methods they adopt on asking their children to study. Rather I believe that they should encourage their children, BUT to a certain extent. So as to that the child does not feel under-confidant, or get on feeling that he is a loser ; even if he is talented.
The atmosphere they create also reflects how the child is feeling at that time. He will learn to share his problems with his peers rather than with the parents, though it may happen that the friends develop a certain IMAGE on how the child treats his parents rather than how the parents treat the child. This may result in differences between the thought processes of the children and the parents creating relational problems among them.
The house should definitely have a cool atmosphere. The parents should tell the children (Rather than the child, as I am, myself, a kid and would maybe write a bit biased article), that grades are important and what is important to them is the mental and physical well being of their child.
Also comparing will not help. Saying, “Bua ne bataya ki voh itne ghanti padhi aur maami ne bataya ki voh itne.” wont help. The child may often begin to feel jealous and this jealousy may turn into hatred to the person as well as towards the parent. This wont help him and he may go under a lot of ’emotional atyachar’. Therefore I feel that it is important for a parent to note down on what-do-I-do-with-my-non-padhne-vaala-kid list.
Lastly, I feel that it is important for a child to understand the importance of studies in our life, but it is also important for the parents to understand that the child could be under pressure of any sort and to continue bickering him or her all the time wont help. What all children need is support from their parents and to inspire them not to discourage them.